a How do I set my laser printer on stun?
b How is it possible to have a civil war?
c If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
d If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
e If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
f If work is so terrific, how come they pay you to do it?
g If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
h If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
i If you try to fail, and you succeed, which have you done?
j Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
k Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
l Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
m What happens when none of your bees wax?
n If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
o If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
p When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
q Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?
r If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?
s How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
t If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
u What's another word for thesaurus?
v Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
w Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
x Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
y How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
z Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
a Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
b When you choke a Smurf what color does it turn?
c Does fuzzy logic tickle?
d Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
e Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
f Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
g Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
h If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
i Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
j Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
k Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
l If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
m When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
n Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
o Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
p Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
q What was the best thing before sliced bread?
r Why do we label underwear as a pair?